Just as you think things can't get any weirder...

They do. But, my life has sort of been a mess since Christmas break. Wow.

Has it really only been that long? It seems like ages...
Ages since I've been able to think straightly, act normally around you.
Ages since I haven't had this feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I know I should be able to just forget it; it is my brain after all--but it isn't that easy.

Oh well. Life goes on, and carries us all along for the ride. I, for one, don't know where that ride will take me, but I'm confident it won't be boring-- that much is for sure.

Rush=love

Well, as most of my friends know, Rush is pretty much my favorite band at the moment. I almost called it my favorite "new" band, but then realized that you can't really use the title "new" in reference to a band that's been around for over 30 years. So, anyways, they pretty much rock my socks off. And, the obligatory lyrics:

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill.
-Rush, "Freewill"

In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help to smooth the unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth
-Rush's "Subdivisions"

Todays Tom Sawyer,
He gets high on you,
And the space he invades
He gets by on you.

No, his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes aren't permanent,
But change is.
-Rush's "Tom Sawyer"

And, all three of these songs are on the CD I got on Friday from Ara. Thank you, Ara. (and Lauren too)

Well, that's all for now. Talk to you all next time.

You can shine like silver...

I was going through the contents of my computer, and I found the lyrics to a song by a group called "Grand Derangement," a French group I listen to. They were in a word file, and once I saw them, I had this sudden attack of nostalgia. I had put them there as part of my intention to study French over the summber before last- but I never did finish it. It's one of the things I've been kicking myself for for some time now.
I often wonder what would be different had I managed to finish the French over the summer. I'd be in French 4 now, with more of my friends, instead of French 2 with people I don't even know. Who knows what else would have changed? I don't. But, I wish more had stayed the same...

Change is good, in many ways. Without change, life could be boring. But, at the same time, change can be saddening. However, time marches on, and there's nothing we can do about that.

As the Barenaked Ladies would say, "You can shine like silver all you want, but you're just aluminum."

Yes, I know this is my second post in 10 minutes

I posted that last entry before I remembered the real reason that I had decided to blog...the feeling I had today. The best way I can think of to describe it is...Christmas. It feels like the feeling I get around Christmastime- a sort of zoned out feeling, like I'm detached from the world. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's just life. Who knows?
I certainly don't.

yep, I can work NPR into a blog entry

Well, as the Car Talk guys might say, "You've squandered another perfectly good summer."

I can't believe it's over. Wow. It's been a blast and a half. Shakespeare, driving, making friends, becoming better friends with some, saying goodbye to friends.

It's like this rain we've been having is ushering out the summer, and ushering in fall. I can only hope that this school year will be as much fun as the last 2 months have been.

Well, I just wanted to say goodbye summer, and hello school. Okay, I actually didn't want to say that at all, but I had to, so I figured I might as well.

What happened?

Okay, so maybe a blog that I haven't posted in for about half a year, and which I'm not sure half my friends know exist, is the best place to be putting this post, but oh well. I wanted to say it somewhere, and here is as good a place as any...

So, here it is: I was looking at the archive of livejournal posts for Hillary (doing research for this stupid memoir), and I've had to ask myself: What happened?

When I think back to the time period from about the semi back, all I can remember is how happy I was. yes, I'm sure I had my fair share of problems, but I couldn't remember them. All I could remember is this overwhelming feeling of joy.

Now...this. I don't know how to describe it- it's vaguely emo, but not quite. It's more this general feeling of "this sucks", but that's not right either. I can't really describe it. Which is why I don't write.

I'm hoping this is just temporary, caused by a rearranging of life- school starting, people leaving, new things happening- and I look forward to being the way I was before again- not that I'm not happy now, it's just...different.

Well, I needed to say that, even if it is incoherent. That's what you get for trying to put something into words that you only half-understand yourself- and at 1:30 in the morning to boot.

All right, i'll do it.

I would just like to give a big shout-out first of all to lag, for making me update this blog, in a way.

1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favourite place to be:
11. favourite lyric:
12. best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.